Friday, June 26, 2009

New Addition to The Family

...and no, it's not my sister in law.

Presenting, UMRA.

It (can't tell if it's a male or female) may not be as cute as Pia's chickens or rabbit, but it definitely defines the SZ family perfectly...different :)


p/s: Elly nk main dgn die?

Post Umrah


Yes, this is the second time I went for umrah, but y’all need to remember that the first time I went was a decade ago when I was ten. What does a ten year old know about humility in asking for forgiveness and the struggle of finding peace with one’s choice in life? But this time, I am more aware of my surrounding, of my life, of my past, and more importantly of my future. How I choose to lead my life from herein will be different now from before, insyAllah :)

At first I thought of bringing my laptop with me so that I can write my day to day story over there. But the last minute I decided against the idea as I want to focus in presenting myself to God and not of my worldly activities. I just want to be focused, nothing wrong in that. So as a result there’s not much to read here even though PLENTY happened while I was there such as an Indonesian auntie peed in front of me, meeting Naima from Pakistan, Lutfiah from Jakarta, and Sarah from Cairo.

Speaking of that, it was such a beautiful sight. Different skin tones, different languages, different status, but all were there for one reason and that is for ONE GOD. As I told my mum, Islam is based on who views it. Some may say that the ones that went to the Holy city are only about 20% of all Muslim population but others, like me, can say that if only that 20% pray for the rest 80%, and all Muslims would tawaf together around the one Baitullah, then that is EXACTLY what Americans are afraid of. They’re not afraid of those 0.2% terrorists that are so-called Muslims, but they are afraid that as history has proven, that when Muslims united in the name of one God, not ONE person can defeat us. Unfortunately, nearing the end of the world, many Muslims are only by name, not in faith, much less in practice. But I do believe in the words of the Quran (NOT Koran) that Islam will rise for one final time before the end arrives.

Yes I admit that before this I was ‘cautious’ of what I say because I liked to think myself as ‘diplomatic’, but when I was in Makkah I felt ashamed of myself... How can I choose to tapis my words in order not to offend others at the cost of my love? No, I’m not going to be that person again. There are many that I’ve seen, read, and experienced for me to say that ISLAM is the way of life. It’s not blind faith. If many before had died just because they won’t compromise their Iman and Islam, I figure the least that I could do is to stand for what I believe in and not be afraid for it is the truth.

I’m not saying that I won’t accept non-Muslims in this world and in my life! No! Even the Prophet (pbuh) can dine side by side with a Jew (although many would like to condemn all Jews as enemy of Islam, which I disagree), I am just a person, too small to be compared with Rasullullah (pbuh), and I have no problem mingling with others :) The only thing that has changed about me is that there is no more a gray area in my life. It is either the truth or it is not. Black or white.

If there are those who would want to take this opportunity to debate and discuss or challenge my stand, as much as I would love to prove my points, I am unfortunately, not an Islamic scholar. I am still learning, and wish to do so till my last breath. I have not enough the knowledge to be on the platform of righteousness. Humbly I admit that I am not the right person to ask questions.

God truly loves me. After all the wrongs that I did in my life, He called me to be his guest at his Holy city. Even though there are many that are more financially able, or even those who are more knowledgeable than I am, he did not invite them. The night my parents went to do their Hajj, I questioned, Astaghfirullahalazim, why there are some that did not even cover their aurat while in Malaysia but were invited by Him to be His guests. I now see that after they came back there are obvious changes in them especially in their dressing. Allahuakbar. God Almighty. He has His own plan (He certainly knows what we don’t know), and His plan for me certainly works. SubhanAllah, there are actually no words to describe His presence the way I felt it when I was in the Holy mosque. I hope to be there again, offering nothing more but my prayers, as soon as I got back from the States so that I will always remember that in this world I am only one among many but to Him, I am me, Syaza Farhana Binti Mohamad Shukri, a servant, and it feels real good.


ps: Kepada smelly, plz go here to see how different Mekah is now than the time we went dolu2.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Pre Umrah

Today I woke up a little after the shout of my mum. Yeah I guess I kind of deserved it since I told her the night before that I'd get out of the house BEFORE eight. Being Syaza, I was bathed, clothed, and ready to leave around 8.30 but my mum asked me to wait so that we'll go out the same time (different cars). So I had breakfast while watching Friends until I was called by my mum upstairs and she said, "If you're ready you can go first." Okay. But amazingly, by the time I wanted to go out she was already ready too. Surprise! ;-) And as I always say, God is All-knowing for it is FATE for me to wake up LATE, because my mum's car had a trouble of its own. So she had to ride with me. See, if I had woken and left early she would be stuck at home...unless she wants to take my Kancil.

First stop, Maybank. Here's one thing I LOVE about Nilai. I remember when I was a little girl, my mum would drag me to the Maybank in Melawati around 8.30 and we would have to wait in LINE until the bank opens at 9. But in Nilai, I walked in around 9.30 and there's no one there! So I asked for the ASB and money order form, had my time filling them both up and took my number. I thought then when I go upstairs for sure there's going to be many people standing up waiting like those people in Melawati...but as soon I arrived on the first floor it was my number! Wee~ Around 10 am off I went to Seremban.

I went to a government department in Seremban, not saying which one. This is my second time there and just like the first visit, I have nothing but complaints toward the place. The first time I went there I was criticizing everything from the lack of 'number' to the none-smiling people at the counters to him and this time, it was my mum who was complaining about the same things. Embarrassing, seriously. Then they cannot do the favor I asked them because the people who were supposed to do it were not in. Okay, fine, I live 30 minutes away. What if someone lives an hour away? How can you afford to tell your client you can't do your job because there ain't enough workforce? That's your problem, not mine. Not to say I'm inconsiderate, yes, I know it's the school holidays, but just because we don't pay you and you got lousy allowance from the government, don't think we're any less important. And that is why, people, I chose to go to a private hospital for my check up after going to THREE public clinics.

After we gave up, I drove my mum and Kak Nor to KL. My mum wanted to stop by her office but since it was lunch hour and Friday has an especially long one, we stopped by the post office in Melawati for me to send some stuffs using Poslaju International. Dang, I think UPS is cheaper. On the way to Permata my mum saw her favorite fruit stall was just starting to put up durians and rambutans on 'display' and she abruptly asked me to stop. Get this, she spent RM100 just on fruits, and was happy when she came back to the car with a free bottled water. 

Then we stopped by my old house in Permata to see the renovation going on by the new owner. Well, okay I got the admit they had nice new door but for me that's as far as my compliment go. First of all, I really DON'T understand people who can't appreciate greenery. Especially in a residential area where you barely have enough dirt for one small flower, that house used to have a...I'm not sure of the word, but almost like a CANOPY of greenery, the work of my father. And they cut all of them down. Yes, real 'creative'. But the worse part is they painted the house ORANGE, when my neighbors' houses are white! I really don't, and never will, understand these types of family. If you want to stand out so much, go buy your own land and built your dream house however you want. If you bought a house in a residential area where the houses are identical, THERE IS A REASON. Don't be too creative, please, it's an eyesore. And you look cheap, serious, however expensive the paint may cost.

Then went to Giant for grocery.

After that I finally drove my mum to her office right in the middle of KL. Since it was getting late she called her PA to come down and get the chocolates my mum wanted her to distribute to her office mates. Around 3.30 I started driving our way back home, honestly, with my eyes half closed. But, oh well, alhamdulillah we made it. :)


Monday, June 8, 2009


Today I would like to share with you an interesting story. Well, you know how I like to tell stories especially as a way for me to vent out. And this one is a true story too. It goes like this...

I know someone - know REALLY well - who has a sibling that was sponsored by the same people sponsoring me - Malaysia's taxpayers - to study abroad in an Asian country. Let's call this person X. Okay, so I heard X was the best student during X's preparation class in Malaysia for this specific country. Cool, right. And then off X went.

Two years there and X did okay. I'm not sure if X did great, but okay, definitely. And then going into X's second year, X broke up with the person X was in a relationship with at that time who was in Malaysia. X was heartbroken. What did X do next? X did not go to class...for one whole semester. What a waste of taxpayers' money.

And so being good parents, X's parents flew all the way to this country to try their best in giving X the support and motivation for X to go to class. X's mother even went on and called the department that handles X's sponsorship and begged them to give X another chance as she explained the situation. And this is my favorite part, guess what their response was...

"Oh we understand. This happens all the time. We're going to give X another chance."

WE UNDERSTAND. THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. X wasted SIX MONTHS worth of tuition money and they said they UNDERSTAND because of a BREAK UP. A BREAK UP with someone who's not even X's fiance/fiancee!

And then yesterday, alhamdulillah, I got the green light letter from them. And the first thing they mentioned in the letter was 'If by any chance your performance dropped being caused directly or indirectly by this marriage we're going to take back your scholarship and you will have to pay back.' I was like, "Duh." Being married or not, when we signed the blue paper agreement, ALL of us agreed to maintain our performances or not they have the right to stop sponsoring us.

But the thing I am so disappointed is that when a student DID NOT APPEAR TO CLASS for one semester because of a BREAK UP, they UNDERSTAND. But when my dad went to meet the director personally, he said, "If your daughter's performance drop, we won't accept excuses such as it was a new environment or we can't understand the lecturers' accent. We will straight blame your decision to get married as the reason."

Okay people, you be the judge.


p/s: Yes, I'm not afraid to criticize them so that they'll make better judgement for future students and also make better use of taxpayers' money.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

06 06 09

Thank you:

His family
Sofiya and sis

If some have been wondering why I haven't been online for ages, it's because I was busy for my brother's wedding. Thank you to those who made it. Sorry if I was a bit busy...

Congratulations to my brother and new sister-in-law.

I'll see you guys again...soon, hopefully :)