Thursday, April 30, 2009


Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today, I am going to talk on RESPONSIBILITY...

...Okay, let me backtrack a bit. I will start from the beginning.

Last Tuesday I went out with my girlfriend, Adilah. We were having lunch, talking, basically just have a nice girls’ day out. But then, me being me, I like to listen to my friends more than listening to myself talk so I let her tell me stories of her life in UiTM. And then, since we’re girls, of course 60% of the time were spent talking about boys. But then, almost everyone knows there is only one boy in my life right now, so the multiple 'boys' refer to Adilah’s. Not that she has a lot of boyfriends but just, you know, stories of how this guy says he likes her, but she likes someone else, and then she got into a fight with the guy, and then there was this guy from her past who recently admitted to like her too... Basically.

I got to admit the first few minutes I listened to her I had this 'pang‘ of jealousy. I mean, come on girls, don’t deny that you do like having the attention of guys. Of course it was no different for me too. I enjoyed my time flirting before; it was fun, however destructive it was for me. But then, the momentary jealousy last only about...two minutes I would say the most. Seriously. Right after that (and during the one hour drive back home) I did some personal analyzing and realized that...I’m done flirting to one too many guys. I am very happy and contented by having one that truly understands me :)

What does that have to do with responsibility? Well, let’s put it this way. Not many were too eager of my ‘decision’ early on. They said I am too young to take on the responsibility of committing to someone. There are still a lot of things to do, a lot of people to meet. They asked don’t I want to enjoy being young and free? All the while these people were saying these things to me, I feel sorry for them. Maybe it’s just me, but when they say they still want to ‘enjoy’ life, I take it as they haven’t find the meaning of life themselves, and it is okay. It's just that I have found mine: God, family, friends, doing what I love, and be with the one I love. No, I am not afraid to commit. Of course there will always be better guys out there, but how many of those guys are good for me?

And then I got into trouble with the PSD people. They said it is not that they don’t allow it, it’s just that they are afraid if I continue with my plan I would have trouble juggling my education as well. The officer said it is going to be hard to have two responsibilities on my shoulder when starting a new life at a new place. This is when I got really red but decided against myself and kept my mouth shut.

I don’t get it, honestly. What is the problem of responsibility? Why are people afraid of the ‘R’ word? Because they’re afraid they won’t be able to meet the expectations? Responsibility: The Ability To Choose Your Response. Life will always throw unexpected bricks at your face. Problems will only arise when we choose to stop believing in ourselves. One of the best example to look at it is like this: or education is our own responsibility. It is not our parents’ or even our teachers’ – it is wholly ours. There are two ways to approach education: whine of the hard work or take it as a challenge. I prefer to do the latter. It is not a matter of showing off, it is a matter of improving yourself to become the better. I realize that when I set goals that seemed impossible at first, I will become 170% dedicated and thus I will push myself beyond my own limits. It is no different with this current situation. I am not afraid. It could even be an encouragement.

Something is only a baggage if you see it as a baggage.



Anonymous said...

wei syaz, tp klu ngan ak kau je yg ckp n ak tukang dgr kan???
n ak sgt2 sokong pe kau pilih nk terime "responsibility" tu awal2.

Adilah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adilah said...

referring to the first paragraph...

syaz busukkk! ape gi dedahkan rahsia kerajaan aku? anddd... i do not like anyone right now. tyvm. oh, anddd... cite kau tu pusing2. aku pun tak paham. haha.

p/s: nasib baik fay gitau aku kau post mende alah ni. waaaa. syaz jahattt.

ChEsZa said...

to fay: no fay, ko xkenal aku yg now. if u notice, i did not say much when u talked last night. i'm no longer a talker.

to dil: baik baik, ko xsuke sape2. minta maaf kerana pusing2 perkara yg benar.

p/s: aku baik. :p