Thursday, February 28, 2008

James Morrison

I’m always UNDER THE INFLUENCE of you since YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING to hold on to in this WONDERFUL WORLD whenever you’re around. Who says THE PIECES DON’T FIT ANYMORE even when we only have this ONE LAST CHANCE? For since the day you redo this spell of being UNDISCOVERED through THE LETTER you sent, there’s no need anymore for me to CALL THE POLICE because THIS BOY is turning into a BETTER MAN. But – God forbids - IF THE RAIN MUST FALL later, then I guess this shall be THE LAST GOODBYE. =)


Backstreet's Back, Alright!

Last night I went to the Backstreet Boys (BSB) Unbreakable World Tour at Sunway Surf Beach, Sunway Lagoon Theme Park. It wasn’t my first time seeing them as I’ve seen them perform live during the FON concert in 2005. But nonetheless, as a (closet) big fan of them of course I have to see them again!

Unfortunately though, I also had my Macroeconomics mid-term test yesterday so I had to rush and was only able to leave INTI with him around 6.20 pm. The road was clear all the way from toll to toll but (with his ‘help’) I took a wrong exit and then got lost for half an hour. Told you guys that getting lost is my expertise… But then thankfully we were able to make it to Pyramid around 8 pm and we rushed to the Surau for our Maghrib prayers. Since we were already late we didn’t have the chance to get anything to eat… Sorry… :( After meeting up with my cousin the three of us went looking for the place connecting Pyramid to the Hotel (thanks Lils for your help!) The line wasn’t long; I guess because we’re technically late. The show was scheduled to start at 8 but you know the trend with international artistes so I wasn’t that worried. We went to collect the tickets and made our way to the stage. Shila called me asking us to join her and Adilah and Adilah’s cousins but with that many people around it was hard. So instead, the three of us settled near the screen at the left side of the stage.

Oh I love the show. How can I not? Their performance was amazing, love the choreography, love the wardrobe changes, and especially love the new arrangement to their new songs. :) They sang most of their hit songs and also most from their new album. But the crowd shook Sunway mostly when they sang their oldies such as I Want It That Way, Quit Playing Games With My Heart, Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely and Incomplete. For me though, I especially love it when they sang As Long As You Love Me, All I Have To Give and I’ll Never Break Your Heart back to back. Not just because those are my favorites but also because I had him with me :) But the night wasn't all sappy! They also sang The One, Larger Than Life, The Call and EVERYBOOOOODYY...YEAAAHHHH! :p Plus they did all the dance moves from their videos! It was a fun show la in conclusion :) They performed non-stop for almost two hours so got to salute them for that.

After the concert I called up the babes and met them near the pool. By 'them' I meant Shila and Adilah, my usual concert partners-in-crime. Then I met Kak Sofwah (whom called me the entire time of BSB’s performance during FON.) Since Kak Yong, he and I didn’t have our dinner yet, we decided to go to NZ since it’s along the way to my house. Shila and Adilah went there too. Can't believe that even though one is studying at INTI, one in UiTM and one in KMNS we can still go to NZ together during a weeknight :p Anyway, after sending my cousin back home we made our own way back to ‘the home.’ We arrived at INTI around 1 am. It was really a nice excursion - nowhere near INTI - and doing something else rather than going to Palma.
I fell in love with BSB when I was eight and I've never stop being their fan ever since. Thank God though that my dream of marrying Nick Carter had died five years ago :p The concert really brought back memories of those yester-years when my idea of fun was dancing around the room to their songs with my best friends (whom all I succeeded in converting to BSB fans :p) But at the same time it wasn't just about the past, I also ‘kind of’ see a glimpse of my future too since this is only my first concert with him... :) (I still feel bad though that you had to endure a concert of ‘sleepy songs’ for two hours with me…)

But still, would you do it all over again for me if you have to?


p/s: There isn’t any picture of us at the concert because I didn’t bring my brother's camera and my stupid cell’s battery was low.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

You think I was born like this ah?

I’ve been through this and I didn’t think I would have to go through this same old battle all over again here in college - this stupid constant battle I have to prove wrong. You want to know what is it that I hate most other than being disturbed during my nap time. People saying this: “Syaza…senang la untuk dia.” Since my school years, all the way till my SPM year, people have always said that. As if I picked my grades from some pokok mangga by the road or something. I know it is one part compliment but it is also another part annoying. I acknowledge that it’s partly my fault that people think so because I always repeat that I’m lazy. Thankfully though God gave me this amazing gift which is that I easily understand things. At the same time don’t think all these while I don’t work for my grades. I do, okay. Maybe less than some more deserving people, but I do work for my grades. Maybe I play more than some more deserving people, but I do work for my grades. Maybe I complained more than some more deserving people, but I do work for my grades; and don’t for one second think I do it half-heartedly. My point is, I work. I don’t eat my textbooks and magically remember everything. Therefore my advice is this: just do your shares of the work. God only helps those who want to help themselves. Ok?


Monday, February 25, 2008

My Wall

This may sound weird, but I was thinking of my pet while I was in my Macroeconomics class just now. I know my pet’s already dead but I can’t help reminiscing how we were before… As I was thinking I realized how I’ve changed since life disappointed me. Last year I started college with fresh hopes and dreams but instead I got crushed along the way. Therefore this year I started the new semester with a thick and tall barrier surrounding me. People can no longer easily approach me – physically and emotionally – and I don’t reach out to people as much as I used to. It's not that I have anything against ‘people’ but the second you took advantage of me you’re crossed out of my list. But as cheesy as this might sound, I'm not that sad because I believe in the rainbow after the storm and right now I'm so in love with my rainbow :)

"I can't get it back, but I don't want it back." - Go On Girl by Ne-Yo.

"With my brand new life I'm truly happy, but from time to time I do think back." - Do You by Ne-Yo feat Utada Hikaru.

All music courtesy of Diana.


Sunday, February 24, 2008


Quoting Diana, "Syaza tak keluar?!" (something like that.)

Yeah, it's shocking isn't it if Syaza doesn't go out. So today I went out with the whole clan to Pavilion and as usual, with my daddy around, I feel like Britney Spears. See for yourself what I meant by it.

Yup, call him overprotective or something but those pictures were taken by my dad when I'm not looking.

And that's us waiting for our lunch (Kak Yong belanja! Sayang kamu!) And also if you people realize, I was trying to be Pia for the day :D

The usual line at JCo.

And then later my cousin and I stopped by the park near my house to take pictures since the sceneray was oh-so-BEAUTIFUL! :)

Oh and may I also add that I've been with him for a month now. "Forever" eh baby. Oh, how that word struck me as so believable when you said it. =')

-C- know the rest.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Silence please...

“If you have nothing good to say better not say anything at all.”

I don’t know if I’ve ever tell you guys this but I once did an experiment back in secondary school over this hypothesis: The less you talk, the calmer you get. When I was in form two, I think, I decided to not talk with my friends for a few days and to see what the effect on me is. It doesn’t mean I didn’t communicate with them, just not verbally. My friends just laughed it off as another one of my stupid, crazy, weird way of making my boring life more ‘exciting’. But they didn’t know then how the experiment actually did some good to me. For a few days I didn’t talk but instead just wrote on a piece of paper when needed. (During that time I was really close to all my teachers and they know me, so they just waved it as another ‘Syaza thing.’) At the end of my experiment I discovered that when you spent less time talking, you ended up spending more time thinking. And personally, I like that more. It goes the same as when I’m in class though I know it’s not exactly healthy. But I like to hear what others have to say and think thoroughly before giving a response or remark or even making a face because what comes out of your mouth reflects who you are as a person. And I believe words reflect your level of maturity too. When you talk sometimes you tend to go overboard and I hate for that to happen both by me, and to me. Therefore I’d rather keep my mouth shut and just smile to the world. They may see me eating but don’t think under that chewing expression I’m not playing and replaying a conversation.

“Words do mater.”


p/s: But hey, with the people I'm comfortable with I can gossip with them hours on end. But even then if I feel like I don't have anything good to say, I'd just 'shut up and drive.'

My Dead Pet

Dear pet,

Wow, I can’t believe I’m finally writing this last letter to you. I did not predict the time would be now. But anyway, I thought this might be the best way for us to part for I want our last goodbye to be perfect. I can't believe this is the last, you are finally dead. It took you almost…six months to finally exhale your last breath in my presence. And to tell you the truth, I’m not really sure how I feel right now seeing you…dead. You didn’t die in my arms though as I expected. You just went cold. And to think that there’s so much more things left for me to say to you.

Dear pet,

Honestly, it saddens me to the deepest of my heart to see how your life turned out to be in the end. You lived the lasts of your life full with disgrace. My pet, even if your stay was never meant to be permanent, you still succeed in humiliating me. After one owner to the next, you took advantage of us all. I tried feeding you with the best steamed fish I can get in the market. But what did I get in return? You only looked for me when you’re hungry and left for my neighbors’ houses when your appetite wanted something else…something more. You recently found out that your owner before me has found a fluffier and more loyal pet. Want to take a guess what have happened to me? Yup, I have found a much better pet myself. It breaks my heart how you weren't able to appreciate all that you have before we finally left you on the road, hungry and all alone. There were times when I could still hear you at night mewing, trying to get desperate attention from my neighbors and me. Why do you have to do that? You were much better than that.

Dear pet,

You will forever leave a mark on my heart. Forever. Even now after you have left me, after I have buried you, after all the roses I have left on your grave, trust me when I say I will always love you, forever and ever. Because my love for you went beyond what we did for each other. The fact that you were always - ALWAYS - there when I needed a cuddle was only a small faction of our relationship. Instead, I acknowledge more that you were a special and unique character I know I will meet only once in a lifetime. I still believe in that, even now after you’re dead.

Dear pet,

I pray that God will bless your soul and I hope, if you believe in karma, you will be reborn again as a higher being in your next life. Perhaps even…as a human.


p/s: This post is a response to this post.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

16 February 2008

Yesterday was…an indescribable night for me. It was much more beautiful than I ever anticipated. I’m really thankful to God for him. There are seriously no words to describe how I felt last night. Speechless is such an understatement. Thank you… Thank you… Thank You…...

Actually I was a bit sad last night too because four of my supposedly best friends didn’t wish me exactly at 12am. But thankfully all of them with the exception of Zaida (nasib aku sayang ko Zai!) called me instead. So I’m very happy about that. Too bad I can’t see any of them since we’re all busy with our studies now :(

Today I just had lunch with my family and my brother’s girlfriend. The day was so cute to me. I love the food (and you know how much I adore food), the company and also the presents! No, I’m not really into presents at this age; to just have my family with me is already a beautiful gift. But of course I’m not complaining over the gifts I received :)

But the best part today was when I opened my mum’s gift for me. I think I laughed so hard I frightened my brother’s girlfriend! My mum gave me a book called, “You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World.” And he gave me a book called, “Jadilah Wanita Yang Paling Bahagia.” …It’s the same book! He gave me the translation and my mum already saw the book he gave me last Wednesday. No wonder she was like, "Don't need to open..."

But all in all, it’s a good sweet nineteen (is it still sweet?)


Friday, February 15, 2008


Another year gone, more experiences gained, more people met, more heartaches along the way, yet no regret for the year I’ve had :) I have to admit, I love being eighteen. It was the perfect age. Kind of an adult, yet still a kid. I'm legal to watch 18PL (hehe yolatu) movies, yet I still don’t have to vote. I’m still a teenager, yet people do give a second thought to what I have to say. Did I enjoy my life last year? I think so as I regret none that I did. And I love every second of it.

But then, 365 days later, here I am, waiting for the clock to strike twelve again and to officially be nineteen. Although according to my birth cert, I’m only nineteen at 2.45pm... Nineteen, the last of the '-teen' age. Now, am I sad to reach nineteen? Yes, because then I would be one step further from my childhood (which I'll forever hold dearly.) Am I scared to reach nineteen? Yes, because I’m always scared of the future - period. Am I worried, confused, disappointed, annoyed, and crushed to turn nineteen? Honestly, a bit.

I’m listening to John Mayer’s Stop This Train right now. Yet when I think about it, I don’t really want to stop this train. I don’t want to stay static. I do want to embrace changes. I do want to try be a better person. I do want to experience more that there is. I do want to live. And to live, I need to accept the fact that I’m actually getting older by the second. Despite all that, I can’t help but to smile. I’m nineteen and I still have my parents with me. I’m nineteen and I still have my brother with me. I’m nineteen and I still have a roof over my head. I’m nineteen and I still have the opportunity to enjoy every food there is (except for veggies). I’m nineteen and I still have the energy to learn. I’m nineteen and I still have the people I love surrounding me with each breath I take.

For me, it is ironic that as each year goes by, and as we become more mature, our lifespan on earth is actually shrinking. The more I learn, the less time I have to use it. But then, for that nanosecond that I stopped worrying I realized that nineteen is actually just a number. As long as I stay true to myself no matter what my age is, then I am and always will be SYAZA FARHANA MOHAMAD SHUKRI.

Happy 19th Birthday Chesza Babe.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Of Grammy And OU

Another forced-by-Diana entry… Kidding! :p

Let me start my story on the 11th of February 2008. Since a day earlier, my friend Adilah had been complaining that she won’t be able to watch the Grammy Awards this year. So I was a bit restless myself since I haven’t missed a year of it since…I can’t remember. So that morning, while I was feeling all emotional, my dear good friend Wenli suggested I just go home. I felt like kissing her!

So right after lunch I made my way home. On my way back…I cried in the car. I don’t know why but I was feeling sad for no reason… I guess like what Diana once said – and agreed my Borges – sometimes girls get emotional because it’s just something they want/need to do. But once I arrived home yesterday, all the warmth, the laughter, the food, the bed, the cat and the Grammys made it all better. :) (Plus, the phone call made my night...) I’m also happy that I can proudly say in my car I have three award-winning albums (Back To Black, Graduation, and Continuum from last year’s Grammy) and one Grammy-nominated album (Back To Basic also from last year). Good taste Chesza, good taste. :p

So all revived, I went back to INTI the next morning happy and ready to face the world! :p Today was an okay day. I especially enjoyed my Physics lab because today’s work was on vectors. And you guys know how I always have an orgasm doing mathematics. (I know, nerdy, so?) Then after Physics and getting ready, the six of us went out to celebrate Sofiya and my birthday. :) Our birthdays are only ten days apart. I drove Weizhuan’s car with the intention to go to Midvalley but I took a wrong turn so instead we ended at One Utama! We had dinner at Chili’s and we just hang out. After dinner we had some crazy picture-taking time!

Tomorrow I got an 8 am class and then around 3 pm my parents would arrive for my Awards Presentation Ceremony. Shockingly, I feel neither tired nor sleepy (and I didn’t sleep during the afternoon okay.) Hmh… :p


Sunday, February 10, 2008


Syar tagged me. :)

The Rules:
1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve tagged, and to read your blog.

About Me.

1) I try my best not to answer calls or texts when I'm driving. I don't know why but I just hate it. So if you call and I don't answer there's only two possibilities: I'm driving or sleeping.

2) I AM lazy! But I don’t know why people don’t believe me when I say that! Between sleeping and studying, you can guess which one I choose EVERY TIME. But when I am doing what I love to do, I am motivated to do my best.

3) I left lip-gloss marks on my test papers. Seriously, I do. Want to see it? Come to my room and I can show you. I just love to sleep on my test papers.

4) I drive my car when I’m pissed. I don’t know why I do so but I think it’s a KL driver syndrome thingy.

5) I have a nine year old cat that drools excessively but I still love her... :)

6) My friends say I am a true practitioner of emotion displacement. It means that when I am missing one person I would go all ‘gedik’ with my friends as they are the replacement to the person I am actually missing…

7) I curl my toes even when I’m at rest. Only one of my best friends ever realizes that. Try checking it out when I’m not paying attention.

8) I always say I am afraid of horror movies but when I watch them I either yawn of boredom or laugh as none of them are ever up to my expectations.

I Tag:

1. Elly
2. Diana
3. Farah
4. Kak Yong
5. Lils
6. Rassyid
7. Sofiya
8. Wenli


This week I was called ‘kabut’ a few times by my fellow friends and family members during different occasions. It kind of made me want to laugh :) Actually, it did make me laugh when Zaida said so in the car. Not because it’s funny or the sarcasm laugh of ignorance, but the laugh of, “Hell I miss this Syaza!” :D

Remember that I once wrote I’m more…‘cool, calm, and collected’ now compared to before? Well, I’m not really sure what happened to me, but like what Diana went through, it’s either I’ve changed or I’ve just gone back to how I was before. :) Yeah, the old me is really kabut. No, I don't cry or shout as much as I used to (thank God I’m not turning back into that!), but I’m more…relaxed to just be myself. Yes, I AM kabut. It’s because I like to do a lot of stuffs at a time and I simply can’t sit still! I just have to move! So yeah, this is good, this is all good. Me running around the house, up and down the stairs, is the real me. The one you saw before, the one that’s always composed…that’s a lie. I wasn’t being true to myself. No wonder I wasn’t so happy before.

I was talking to him the other day and he made me realize that we’re different especially in this sense. I’m very loud and he’s charmingly quiet. But you know what I also realized? I realized that I’ve always needed that kind of people in my life. In every phase of my life, I need that one person to bring me down to earth every time I started to go overboard. People like Fayyadhah and Shila are always there to tell me, “Syaz, that's enough.” Therefore, I’m glad that he’s also like the rest of my best friends. He is my best friend. If he is as ‘expressive’ as I am I think I might just get my tongue pierce tomorrow. So people, be thankful he’s not.