Wednesday, November 28, 2007


To those who chatted online with me yesterday (27 Nov) would realize that I was really depressed last night. I was feeling so sad, so down, and the most annoying part was that I was feeling that way for no apparent reason. “Some things don’t need a reason…” – someone. But I guess there are actually a few explanations to my sudden plunging of emotions. I won’t go in too deep of those reasons but I think some of the contributions are how I’ve been crying every night, counting down to the days when I’ll be left alone for a month and half without the four closest people in my life and the fatigue finally catching up with me after four days of relatives coming in and out, and me going in and out. So, I was quite grumpy and really….down. That is all the word I can think of. And the thought of me going back to my old habit (which I won’t tell you what) even flashed through my mind for a millisecond. But I quickly pushed the thought aside. The conclusion is I was very sad last night.

Now actually, I just got back from driving around. Yes, that’s what I usually do when I’m sad/bored (remember that one time in INTI?) I took my car; with my loud music blaring to the maximum volume my ears can tolerate (yup, Britney’s CD and all.) I drove around and then when I finally have no idea where else to go, I decided to go to Ampang and up the hill to a place where my friends and I love to go to before. That place has monkeys EVERYWHERE. There were not just one or two but there are (place correct quntitative noun for monkeys here) of them. Post-SPM, my friends and I used to go there to give the monkeys nuts and just watched them do their thang just to forget whatever drama we were having. But obviously going there alone was not that much fun to feed the monkeys, so I just drove on… But being there reminded me of the “problems” I used to have back then (and by this time my CD changer has settled on my Christina Aguilera’s CD, which reminded me of my SPM days…) Why I used inverted comas was to show that even I am aware that these so-called problems are only in my head. They’re not real, I know. And now, after months, those “problems” seem so insignificant, so petty. Thus, I was taken back to my present situation. I am a huge believer that time heals everything. And I guess, give it time, whatever “problems” I am having now will seem petty one day… sooner or later, right? =]

As I was driving back, I listened over and over again to my favorite Britney Spears’ song from her new album called “WHY SHOULD I BE SAD? :)

I don’t need to be sad. I can CHOOSE to be happy. As I read back my own previous entry on FAITH, I'm reminded that I need to have faith in God that everything will turn out okay in the end. Just keep on praying, and things will eventually be okay. Therefore, first of all thank you to my Whitey for always being there for me without fail (except those few times you don't want to start, haih...) But most importantly, thank You dear God for showing me the right path over and over and over again.


p/s: These are some of my old pictures of the place.

I think that's a female...hehe.
And that's me!

That's Shila, up close and personal with a baby monkey.
p/p/s: Quoting my own writing, "it is easy for me to get mad at someone but it is also easy for me to calm down. It is easy for me to be sad, but it’s not shocking to see me smile the next second. " you've been warned =)

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